Found Poem-Blog Spam

Sometimes blog spam is pure poetry. Here is a great one. The line breaks are mine:

Don't give up your last nut
for this bullshit. I dabbled in voodoo
(bought the drums,
paid the only Haitians in my neck
of the woods, did the chanting,
and everything) despite the missing pets
in my neighborhood, the Pack still lost
last Sunday. A gutter religion, I say,
based on the results

5 Minute Writing-These Are a Few of My Favorite Things

A crisp raffle poodle. Girls in slight messes. A Sleigh bell canoodle. Brown paper maps hurting black sting. These are a few of my favorite things.
A legal nut job. A flamingo clothes hanger. A mud puddle snob. A Bethlehem banger. A blackbird heart in a doctor's right hand. A rapist dying on the hot sand. 
When the knife stinks, when the bees wish, when I'm feeling had, I simply remember my favorite things, and then I feel so bad.
Flesh colored Christmas lights. Concealed grammar. 19th century street fights. Women with fat glamour. Abortionists free to clip wings in the night, a contortionist laughing with great height. When the fire spits, when the tea party sings, when I'm feeling had, I simply remember my favorite things, and then I feel so bad.

Angel Hair from UFOs and the Virgin Mary

Angel hair or siliceous cotton is a substance said to be dispersed from UFOs as they fly overhead. It has been described as being like a cobweb or a jelly. It has also been reported at sightings of the Virgin Mary.
It is named for its similarity to fine hair, or spider webs. Reports of angel hair say that it disintegrates or evaporates within a short time of forming. One theory is that it is "ionized air sleeting off an electromagnetic field" that surrounds a UFO. It is an important aspect of Raëlism.
There have been many reports of falls of angel hair around the world.
Angel hair was reported at the Miracle at Fatima on the 13th of September and October 1917.
The most reported incidence occurred in Oloron, France in 1952.
On October 27, 1954, Gennaro Lucetti and Pietro Lastrucci stood on the balcony of a hotel in St. Mark's Square in Venice and saw two "shining spindles" flying across the sky leaving a trail of the angel hair.
In the Portuguese city of Évora on November 2, 1959, angel hair was collected and analyzed at the microscope by local school director and later by armed forces technicians and scientists of the University of Lisbon. Conclusions were not possible although it was formed, apparently, by a small organism featuring 10 'arms' stretching from a central core. It was advanced that it could be a single-celled organism of some kind. This event followed the sighting, by the population of the city, of several UFOs. Angel hair was also spotted in the same day, at the Air Force Base of Sintra, several kilometers to the north.^[ci

Explanations based on known phenomena include:

• Some types of spiders are known to migrate through the air, sometimes in large numbers, on cobweb gliders. Many cases of angel hair were nothing other than these spider threads and, in one occasion, small spiders have been found on the material.
• Atmospheric electricity may cause floating dust particles to become polarized, and attraction between these polarized dust particles may cause them to join together, to form long filaments.
• On two occasions a sample was sent for testing once on the 13 of October in 1917 a sample found at Cova da Iria was sent to Lisbon and on October 17, 1957 another sample found at Cova da Iria and examined. The analysis of this proved to be natural consisting of white flakes. When put under a microscope it was found to be a vegetable product not animal.

Explanations related to Unidentified Flying Objects include:

• Ionized air may be sleeting off the electromagnetic field that surrounds a UFO.
• Excess energy converted into matter.
• The usage by UFOs of a G-field would cause heavy atoms in ordinary air to react among themselves and produce a kind of precipitate that falls to the ground and disappears as the ionization decreases.

"Angel grass" is a related phenomenon. It is when short metallic threads fall from the sky, often forming intertwined loosed masses.They are a type of Chaff, a radar counter-measure which can be in the form of fine strands, which is dropped by some military aircraft. It can also come from sounding rockets and balloons, which would have released it at high altitude for radar tracking.

From Wikipedia: http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Angel_hair_(folklore)

'Vampire,' Attacks Florida Senior Citizen, Cops Say

"I am a vampire, I am going to eat you," was the last thing Josephine Smith allegedly said before she viciously assaulted a homeless senior citizen sleeping on the porch of a vacant Hooters, according to Florida police.
Smith, 22, attacked 69-year-old Milton Ellis early Thursday morning, biting chunks of flesh from the victim's face, lips, and arms police said.
Ellis managed to escape and call 911, but not before the so-called vampire removed "the top layer of skin" on his arm. He later received stitches for his wounds.
Ellis had invited his soon-to-be attacker to join him at the abandoned restaurant while she waited for a relative from Pensacola to pick her up, according to the St. Petersburg Times.
"He was staying near an overhang near the vacant Hooter's restaurant so he thought it might be a good place for her to stay," Mike Puetz of the St. Petersburg Police Department said.
Smith told authorities that she had no recollection of the attack and could not explain why she was naked and covered in blood, according to local 13-News.
Smith is charged with felony aggravated battery on an elderly person, and is currently being held at the Pinellas County Jail on $50,000 bond.

From http://www.huffingtonpost.com/2011/09/09/josephine-smith-vampire-florida_n_955465.html?ref=dumb-criminals#s369720&title=Juan_Aguirre

Denver Man Convicted For Raw-Chicken Vandalism

By Associated Press
DENVER -- A Denver man convicted of placing raw chicken in his ex-wife's heating ducts and other acts of vandalism could face up to 18 years in prison.
KDVR-TV reports that 58-year-old Ronald Smith also poured an unknown substance into a baby grand piano and erased a hard drive on his ex-wife's computer.
Authorities say the vandalism caused thousands of dollars of damage.
The station reports a Denver jury deliberated for about six hours Wednesday before finding Smith guilty of second-degree burglary and criminal mischief.
7News reports that Smith was a state lobbyist who was hosting a fundraiser for then-Mayor John Hickenloooper on the night the vandalism occurred, at which, he arrived late and stayed only briefly, according to the arrest affidavit.
According to The Denver Post, this vandalism was not the only time Smith had been harassing his ex-wife. According to prosecutors, Smith had been sending her threatening e-mails and text messages, had been seen by Young peering into her bedroom window where she and her then-boyfriend were sleeping, and even went so far as to post a "death notice" on the backdoor of Young's home that falsely alerted anyone coming to the house that Young had died.
And although Smith's defense tried to blame all the vandalism on Young herself, the jury found Smith guilty on all counts, CBSDenver reports.

Serb Cousins Share Same Strange Attraction

GORNJI MILANOVAC, Serbia &mdash (AP); Serb cousins David and Luka are poles apart from other kids, for when it comes to metalwear everything sticks.
The two boys from the central Serbian town of Gornji Milanovac have the rare ability to attract metal objects, acting much like human magnets.
Sanja Petrovic, the mother of 4-year-old David, said it first came to her attention "about a month ago."
"I asked him to fetch me a spoon so I cold feed his little brother, and he yelled back: 'Mom, it sticks!'" Petrovic recalls.
"I found him with several spoons and forks hanging from his body."
Terrified, the 26-year-old woman phoned her sister, who discovered that her son, Luka, 6, has the same attraction.
"Other kids in the family can't do this, just the two of them," Petrovic said.
The phenomenon is rare and so far medically unexplained. Several similar cases, however, have recently been reported in Serbia, Croatia and Bosnia.
"As far as I know, there is no medical or scientific explanation," said radiologist Mihajlo Dodic, who runs a practice in the Serbian capital, Belgrade. He said the cousins' magnetism borders on the "paranormal."
Luka's father, Slavisa Lukic, said doctors have examined the boys, and announced them to be perfectly healthy, adding that they should be monitored as they grow up.
"Nobody can tell us why this is happening," he said.
David's mother said her son loses his magnetic powers when he is asleep, but regains them when he wakes up and starts moving.
When he plays with his friends "anything will stick to him," she said. Afterward he will feel a little chilly and tired, she said.
Both David and Luka are happy to put on a show for to visitors. On cue, the boys proudly smile and raise their hands in the air to show that cutlery and plates stick to their bodies without assistance.
The rest of the family also seem to have grown accustomed to the peculiarity and the attention.
"It was in shock at first, but now we just try to keep the knives away from them," Petrovic says.

From http://www.aol.com/2011/09/16/serb-cousins-share-same-s_n_965800.html?ir=Weird%20News#s361581

Quick Note about the 70s and New People

"Take back something worth remembering."

I know I'm caught in the 70's with my music. And I like it. I rarely let anything new in. People are like that too. I have had many of the same friends I have had since I was a kid. I rarely let anybody new in. It's true that I might be improved by some new song or person, but I give my old friends and music all my attention. I can't just try on new people like clothes, and listening to something new would remind me of the throwaway culture we live in and it would just depress me.

R.I. teens killed after visiting "vampire" grave

EXETER, R.I. - Sept 1, 2011-Two teenage girls died in a car crash after a nighttime visit to a cemetery to visit the grave of a purported vampire. Police told CBS Affiliate WPRI Bella DiPalma, 17, and Elenna Zuller, 16, both of Warwick, R.I., died when their car lost control on Purgatory Road and flipped over late Wednesday night.
Capt. Darren Delaney said one of the girls was pronounced dead at the scene; the other later died at Rhode Island Hospital.
Police say neither girl was wearing a seatbelt. Two other passengers in the car were wearing seat belts and escaped with minor injuries, reports WPRI correspondent Walt Buteau.
"It's unfortunate but the bottom line is, the two people that were fatalities didn't have their seat belts on," Delaney told WPRI.
Delaney said there was no sign that alcohol was involved, but added speed could have been a factor. The speed limit where the crash happened is 25 miles-per-hour.
Delaney told the Associated Press the girls decided to drive down the "dark, windy road" because they thought it looked "haunted."
The car swerved and rolled over.
Police said the teens were returning from visiting the legendary grave of purported vampire Mercy Brown.
In 1892 the body of 19-year-old Mercy Lena Brown was exhumed at Chestnut Hill Cemetery and mutilated by townspeople who believed she suffered from vampirism.
A candlelight vigil is planned for Saturday on the soccer field at Pilgrim High School where both victims attended. (CBS News)

This happened just a couple of weeks after I visited Mercy Brown's Grave in August.  Click here to check out the photos we took of the graveyard and her stone: http://www.facebook.com/#!/media/set/?set=a.2347146479239.2139651.1267362486

The Mercy Brown incident is supposed to be the inspiration for the novel Dracula. For the history of Mercy Brown, check this post: http://cindygoff.blogspot.com/2011/06/real-vampires-3-mercy-brown-vampire.html

Stardust Bodies

My husband told me last night we are all made up of stardust. I think I remember someone mentioning this to me before, but it made me dizzy to think about. Every atom in our bodies has been every other living thing at some point. You have atoms that have existed from ferns to otters, from lake monsters to rubber trees. We have been part of moons and planets. It's soothing and terrifying. You are part of everything, however one day you will cease to exist and your identity will be obliterated. So get in all the reality TV you can right now. I don't think we will be able to watch on the dust and wind channel.

Barney Fife Impersonators

Did you know that there are Barney Fife impersonators? My friends told about one that appears around Southwest Virginia and East Tenn. I looked it up and there are several guys running around doing this. So if you want Barney Fife to appear at your next party, contact one of these guys:



Scott Epperson http://www.barneyofmayberry.com/ "Nationally-renown Barney Fife look-alike and impersonator, Scott Epperson, brings everyone’s favorite bumbling deputy to life so well you’ll swear he just stepped off the streets of Mayberry! From his 1962 Ford Galaxie Mayberry Squad car to the lone bullet he carries in his pocket (but takes pleasure in showing), Scott loves bringing good old Mayberry fun to crowds at various events all over the United States and Canada."

Sammy Sawyer http://bfife4life.com/ "Impersonator, Humorist and Christian Speaker..."

Rik Roberts http://www.fifeismylife.com/home.php "Rik Roberts travels the country delivering his motivational speech based on The Andy Griffith show to Corporate Groups, Churches, Schools and everywhere in between. Relating memories of lesson-based episodes of the popular show to the world we live in today, Rik reminds us of the simple, important values that we've lost touch with in this digital world."

Jonathan Woodliff - http://www.facebook.com/pages/Jonathan-Woodliff-Barney-Fife-Impersonator/136871956383487 "A guy who loves doing impressions and his share of comedy; Jonathan is the type of person who is liable to say anything—ANYTHING!!"

Man Dressed As Gumby Attempts to Rob Store

By Lauren Steussy

NBCSanDiego.com

A man dressed as Gumby attempted to rob a Rancho Penasquitos 7-Eleven early Monday morning — but his efforts failed, in part because the clerk couldn’t take him seriously.

The suspect told the clerk at the store on Carmel Mountain Road that he was robbing the store, San Diego Police Detective Gary Hassen said.

The clerk, thinking the man was playing a prank, responded that he didn’t have time and that he had to clean. Video surveillance shows the suspect fumbling in his pocket for a non-existent — or inaccessible — gun.

After a few minutes, the suspect left with an accomplice in a van.

The attempt occurred at 12:30 a.m. Monday morning, but the clerk didn’t think to report it to police until 6 a.m. that morning.

Death in the Country (Video of Bee Eating Cicada)

Here is a video of a bee eating a cicada after having stung it multiple times.

A Broken Wand Ceremony

A broken wand ceremony is a ritual performed at the funeral of a magician, in which a wand—either the wand which the magician used in performances, or a ceremonial one—is broken, indicating that with the magician's death, the wand has lost its magic.
The first broken wand ceremony was held in 1926, after the death of Harry Houdini; the Society of American Magicians continues to hold an annual ceremony at Houdini's grave.