Wednesday, April 27, 2011

Slept So Hard I Can't See Straight

We finally got rid of our old mattress. Our old mattress was so ancient, it had sharp springs sticking out of it and stains from high school. It had gotten to the point where I woke up with terrible backaches and I flipped and flopped so much trying to get comfortable that I wore a hole in our 500 thread count sheets.
So last night was the first time on a new mattress. Our old mattress had gotten flat, so this new mattress made us feel like we were sleeping on the ceiling. I had a little trouble getting to sleep just because it was new, but once I feel asleep, I slept hard like a kid that had been at the carnival all day. Woke up and my back felt great and my body seemed straightened out in general. But there is one strange side effect: my vision was a little blurry this morning. It's like my eyes had to warm up like an old TV. Perhaps there is a sight muscle in the lower back and now that it is getting its proper rest it is lazy or something.

Monday, April 25, 2011

Missing Fingers

My husband and I made kind of  a large purchase this weekend. Not a car or anything that big. But big enough that it required a salesman putting information into a computer. We had been dealing with the salesman for about 20 minutes. But it was only when I sat down next to him and he started typing our information into the computer that I noticed he was missing his index finger and thumb on one hand. I think this was some kind of birth defect because there were little nubs where his fingers should have started. It didn't look like they had been cut off. I couldn't help staring at the air where his fingers would have been. I'm sure he caught me looking, but I really didn't mean anything by it. I thought they were interesting; it was a break from the tedious factory of normal hands you have to deal with every day.

Saturday, April 23, 2011

Don't Say Gay!

So know the government is going to tell us what words we can use. I'm all for it. There are many words and phrases that I think should be outlawed: family values, tea party, thoughts and prayers, commandments, right, bible, pro-life, Glen Beck....And the word "care" because I don't like the taste it leaves in my mouth. If the word care had an odor, it would smell like a pot of peas.

Friday, April 22, 2011

Trump-The Real Definition

I found this definition of Trump at

I think it's so appropriate!
trump 1  (trmp)
1. Games
a. A suit in card games that outranks all other suits for the duration of a hand. Often used in the plural.
b. A card of such a suit.
c. A trump card.
2. A key resource to be used at an opportune moment.
3. Informal A reliable or admirable person.
v. trumped, trump·ing, trumps
1. Games To take (a card or trick) with a trump.
2. To get the better of (an adversary or competitor, for example) by using a crucial, often hidden resource.
v.intr. Games
To play a trump.
Phrasal Verb:
trump up
To devise fraudulently

Wednesday, April 20, 2011

A REAL Miracle I Witnessed In 1972

Signs are everywhere if you just pay attention, but it is rare that a REAL miracle occurs. I must clarify the difference between a sign and a miracle. A sign is a pointer. It expects you to look outside yourself for something. It could be letting you know that a friend you haven't heard from in 20 years is coming or where to find a piece of your crazy aunt's wedding china. You might not know what the sign means exactly, but you are being given some reference point to consider. Figuring out what the sign means is a subjective process.

A miracle on the other hand happens right in from of you, and there is no doubt of its existence. Now of course miracles have been watered down to Mary appearing on potato chips or Jesus burnt into toast. When I say miracle, I mean somebody laying on hands and making someone walk, or frogs falling from the sky, or a person rising from the dead. I witnessed such a miracle at the corner of Old Stage Road and Walton Avenue in 1972.

When we were a kids, we loved hard rain. Hard rain meant that the ditch in front of my house turned into a river which could be used in all kinds of adventures. Ironically, one of our favorite games was building damns to try and stop the water. In the spring of 1972, we were playing in front of my grandparents' house at the corner of Old Stage Road and Walton Avenue, Chilhowie Virginia. The cast of children has faded, but I believe John Dutton, Ginger Dutton, and one other kid was there. I could have the players wrong. The rain was so hard it hurt my skin. We were all soaked to the bone but having an amazing time. It was a Sunday.

 A van screamed down Old Stage Road and screeched to a halt right in front of us. It was the van you saw in your nightmares as a kid: dark blue with paint chipping off and a scary bearded guy driving. The rain pounded us so hard, it hurt my eyes to actually look up enough to see the windows. A smiling woman with long, straight black hair, wearing a red bandanna, threw three large plastic bags out the window. Each was about the size of a computer screen. We heard giggling inside the van, and then it sped away. Still frightened, we were afraid to approach the bags. We poked them with sticks at first. When we finally got up the courage, we discovered the three bags were filled with little toys, the kind of toys you would get out of red gumball machines. There were little toy trucks, cars, brackets, beads, horses; everything that our group really liked. After looking it over, we split up the booty very fairly. We all got the toys we were most interested in and there were no squabbles. I seem to remember that even in our excitement we decided to take our toys home and not flash them around. None of us understood what happened, and we didn't want to have the toys taken away on some technicality that we as children "wouldn't understand."

I suppose the logical explanation was that the people in the van had broken open a bunch of gumball machines and taken the money and toys. They threw the toys at us either because they didn't want to get caught with them, or they wanted to do a nice thing, and in their euphoria of having gotten away with their heist, they wanted to share the loot somehow. We were the recipients of that kindness. That to me is a miracle: on an already spectacular flood day, we were literally showered with toys from strangers.

Sunday, April 10, 2011

Sinus and Cover-Up

I'm getting to the point every fall and spring where my sinus are completely laying me low. Fall is the worst, but today I'm dizzy and just want to lay down. The older I get the worse it gets. I wonder if the air is getting more fucked up, or is it that the older your body gets, the more susceptible it is to bad air, food, etc. Maybe both. I have had tests run and they say I have an extreme allergy to wheat. I do believe this, but there must be something else given how bad it gets during certain seasons.
I think all this bad health crap is related to environment and food. It has to be. People didn't used to get sick with the all the shit we do now. I know people have always died of cancer, but not like they are now. I love how they try to put it all on the person's lifestyle. Now again, this is true up to a point. But what about autism? Over in Loudoun County Virginia, the number of kids with autism has gone up by like a 1,000% in the last 10 years.
I just hate it when they piss on my hand and tell me it's raining. They should just be honest. If everybody knew exactly what was happening, then maybe something could be done. Maybe they wouldn't think protecting the air we breath was a liberal plot. But some people are making so much money and are so well entreached, they won't let it go without a revoultion. They are dug in like rich ticks.

Saturday, April 9, 2011

Creating An Army

I have been wondering what the owners of this country have to gain from creating an enormous, illiterate underclass. What will these people do? There are only so many jobs available to someone with a high school education or less. They will be a huge drain on the country's resources. They will have to be fed, housed and clothed. Than one of my friends enlightened me tonight. They are putting together an army! Of course, this will "get them out of poverty and give them a fighting chance." With a huge army, we can still play occupier around the world, and we might be able to really take over some oil countries. Free the poor Arabs from their horrible lives. We will have an army large enough to protect the Mexican border. Our great dumb army will protect the owners of the USA all around the world. The soldiers don't have to think, just follow and they will be taken care of. And if they ever decide they want to improve themselves they can go to the reading corps and it will be all paid for.
We will have to get out of our current wars first because no one whats to go to the Middle East now. We need to get everyone out and quiet it down. Let it rest. People will forget Then before you know it they will do something to piss us off, and we won't be able to send these dumb armies over fast enough. They will beg to go "over there." They will build Starbuck's, Burger King, and Bank of America. It will be an exciting life for them.Once in a while one or two might move up in the ranks. It will give them all something to dream about.

Wednesday, April 6, 2011

Black Air

If you stand in a pitch black room, a place where you really can't see, listen. If you put your arm out in front of you, you can actually hear it tear through the dark. Then you can hear the echo of the movement. It takes about 10 seconds for all that to quiet down, the tearing and the echoes.
Breathing can be difficult if you let it. You might panic at first, but just let the air go in. The air in pitch blackness is heavier than normal air. I feel like this has been written so many times before, but I hope it's helpful if you find yourself trapped in black air.

Tuesday, April 5, 2011

Heart Attack

Imagine a real heart attacking you. Coming out of a dark doorway. He would be about 6 feet tall. I believe his weapon of choice would be a knife. A big kitchen knife. He would move like a cat; you'd never expect it. Then before you knew what was happening, your throat would be cut wide open and the last thing you'd see is a 6 foot tall heart standing over you not wearing pants.

Monday, April 4, 2011

News Holiday

I turned on the news for 5 seconds today, and they are already talking about the 2012 in earnest. I'm so finished with it. The only thing that would interest me is if a serious democratic challenger that is truely liberal would step up to the plate and beat Obama for the nomination. But we all know that won't happen.
Instead we will get the same crap, the same food fight between left and right, the two extremes of liberal pussy and conservative moron. I know this is all by design. If we keep having this reality show political theatre, it keeps people from asking important questions. A question like "who controls all the money and political influence" would be great.
So what is the point of watching the news? Unless I need to know there is a group of cobras closing in on Virginia.

Sunday, April 3, 2011

Alone Woman

A woman saved newspaper clippings her whole life of families. Families she didn't know, but she saved them and dragged them out when someone asked her about her family. There were photos of babies in arms at baptisms, men holding trout, wedding couples, elementary school plays, tree plantings. Late at night she would pull these yellowed pieces of paper out of their precious folders. She had a story about each one. Of course, nobody asked. But she was ready with stories of lakeside picnics and family reunions. Late at night she would put away the folder and kiss the leg of her couch good night.