Found Poem-Blog Spam

Sometimes blog spam is pure poetry. Here is a great one. The line breaks are mine:

Don't give up your last nut
for this bullshit. I dabbled in voodoo
(bought the drums,
paid the only Haitians in my neck
of the woods, did the chanting,
and everything) despite the missing pets
in my neighborhood, the Pack still lost
last Sunday. A gutter religion, I say,
based on the results

5 Minute Writing-These Are a Few of My Favorite Things

A crisp raffle poodle. Girls in slight messes. A Sleigh bell canoodle. Brown paper maps hurting black sting. These are a few of my favorite things.
A legal nut job. A flamingo clothes hanger. A mud puddle snob. A Bethlehem banger. A blackbird heart in a doctor's right hand. A rapist dying on the hot sand. 
When the knife stinks, when the bees wish, when I'm feeling had, I simply remember my favorite things, and then I feel so bad.
Flesh colored Christmas lights. Concealed grammar. 19th century street fights. Women with fat glamour. Abortionists free to clip wings in the night, a contortionist laughing with great height. When the fire spits, when the tea party sings, when I'm feeling had, I simply remember my favorite things, and then I feel so bad.

Angel Hair from UFOs and the Virgin Mary

Angel hair or siliceous cotton is a substance said to be dispersed from UFOs as they fly overhead. It has been described as being like a cobweb or a jelly. It has also been reported at sightings of the Virgin Mary.
It is named for its similarity to fine hair, or spider webs. Reports of angel hair say that it disintegrates or evaporates within a short time of forming. One theory is that it is "ionized air sleeting off an electromagnetic field" that surrounds a UFO. It is an important aspect of Raëlism.
There have been many reports of falls of angel hair around the world.
Angel hair was reported at the Miracle at Fatima on the 13th of September and October 1917.
The most reported incidence occurred in Oloron, France in 1952.
On October 27, 1954, Gennaro Lucetti and Pietro Lastrucci stood on the balcony of a hotel in St. Mark's Square in Venice and saw two "shining spindles" flying across the sky leaving a trail of the angel hair.
In the Portuguese city of Évora on November 2, 1959, angel hair was collected and analyzed at the microscope by local school director and later by armed forces technicians and scientists of the University of Lisbon. Conclusions were not possible although it was formed, apparently, by a small organism featuring 10 'arms' stretching from a central core. It was advanced that it could be a single-celled organism of some kind. This event followed the sighting, by the population of the city, of several UFOs. Angel hair was also spotted in the same day, at the Air Force Base of Sintra, several kilometers to the north.^[ci

Explanations based on known phenomena include:

• Some types of spiders are known to migrate through the air, sometimes in large numbers, on cobweb gliders. Many cases of angel hair were nothing other than these spider threads and, in one occasion, small spiders have been found on the material.
• Atmospheric electricity may cause floating dust particles to become polarized, and attraction between these polarized dust particles may cause them to join together, to form long filaments.
• On two occasions a sample was sent for testing once on the 13 of October in 1917 a sample found at Cova da Iria was sent to Lisbon and on October 17, 1957 another sample found at Cova da Iria and examined. The analysis of this proved to be natural consisting of white flakes. When put under a microscope it was found to be a vegetable product not animal.

Explanations related to Unidentified Flying Objects include:

• Ionized air may be sleeting off the electromagnetic field that surrounds a UFO.
• Excess energy converted into matter.
• The usage by UFOs of a G-field would cause heavy atoms in ordinary air to react among themselves and produce a kind of precipitate that falls to the ground and disappears as the ionization decreases.

"Angel grass" is a related phenomenon. It is when short metallic threads fall from the sky, often forming intertwined loosed masses.They are a type of Chaff, a radar counter-measure which can be in the form of fine strands, which is dropped by some military aircraft. It can also come from sounding rockets and balloons, which would have released it at high altitude for radar tracking.

From Wikipedia: http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Angel_hair_(folklore)

'Vampire,' Attacks Florida Senior Citizen, Cops Say

"I am a vampire, I am going to eat you," was the last thing Josephine Smith allegedly said before she viciously assaulted a homeless senior citizen sleeping on the porch of a vacant Hooters, according to Florida police.
Smith, 22, attacked 69-year-old Milton Ellis early Thursday morning, biting chunks of flesh from the victim's face, lips, and arms police said.
Ellis managed to escape and call 911, but not before the so-called vampire removed "the top layer of skin" on his arm. He later received stitches for his wounds.
Ellis had invited his soon-to-be attacker to join him at the abandoned restaurant while she waited for a relative from Pensacola to pick her up, according to the St. Petersburg Times.
"He was staying near an overhang near the vacant Hooter's restaurant so he thought it might be a good place for her to stay," Mike Puetz of the St. Petersburg Police Department said.
Smith told authorities that she had no recollection of the attack and could not explain why she was naked and covered in blood, according to local 13-News.
Smith is charged with felony aggravated battery on an elderly person, and is currently being held at the Pinellas County Jail on $50,000 bond.

From http://www.huffingtonpost.com/2011/09/09/josephine-smith-vampire-florida_n_955465.html?ref=dumb-criminals#s369720&title=Juan_Aguirre