Someone gave me a
lime green calculator from Staples which doubles as a paper clip. The buttons and the screen are tiny and make me feel like a giant who has to calculate some type of miser sum. Maybe a giant would have to add up flapping chickens and burlap sacks full of gold. I don't have anything to calculate. When I was younger than 25, I used to like to calculate my age in certain years. For example, in "2020 I'll be x." That was the only calculator game I could play with my limited math skills. And the ages I calculated seemed so far away. The little science fiction digital numbers telling of years in the future.
This game is just no fun anymore. I've closed my eyes about age. There is nothing I can do, and I know death is coming. I know it will end. I just don't know how. Really there are only a few logical scenarios for everyone. Most of them are not good. Of course, there are the oddball ways of dying like eaten by a tiger or frozen death in a meat locker. But we all pretty much know our "real" outcomes are limited to the usual suspects like cancer, heart attack, stroke. Even if I wanted to play the "what age will I be in two thousand whatever" game, I couldn't see the numbers on this tiny-ass lime green calculator anyway.
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