Monday, June 20, 2011

Remembering How To Starve

I wish I could embrace that starving feeling because I really need to loose weight. I lost a ton of weight in my 20's and I remember how I cultivated the starve. Feeling those pains in my stomach meant I was making progress, fat cells where starving somewhere in my body.
Now in my 40's, it is so much harder to starve. I don't have the starving discipline. I'm trying to equate it with progress, with change. I think ALL American women are either in a constant state of starving or feeling guilty for eating every single calorie.

I quit smoking around 10 years ago and that was a bitch! I still miss it. But the difference between the addictions is this: you don't have to smoke to live. Although it feels that way when you quit. You have to eat. You have to deal with the food thing one way or another. And for an addict, it's nearly impossible to do just a little of what you love. I can't smoke occasionally. I never understood people that could do that. I need two packs a day or nothing. Ask a crack addict to do "just a little crack" or an alcoholic to drink "just a little beer." I know I have to be strong and rein myself in and blah, blah, blah. I know all that. It's like there is a Mount Rushmore made of butter in front of me, and I have to climb to the tip-top of Washington's head and plant a size 10 flag.

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